A post last week at the blog of climate scientist Ellie Highwood revealed remarkable literary talent not just from Ellie herself but also from climate sceptic Mango Chutney. Perhaps there is a hitherto unexploited poetic propensity on both sides of the climate debate.
So please post your poems below, and don’t be put off if you’re unable to reach the quality level of Ellie and Mango.
The IPCC Report 
Here’s mine, in the form of a climarick:
A team called the IPCC
thought they knew how the climate would be.
But all their predictions
turned out to be fictions
so who have they fooled? Not me!
For me, this by ‘Sleepalot’ takes a lot of beating…
http://www.bishop-hill.net/blog/2012/3/31/scaring-the-proles.html
Today we have scaring the proles. Yesterday,
We had narrative writing. And tomorrow morning,
we will be taxing them into the dirt. But today,
Today we have scaring the proles. CO2 bubbles
harmlessly through coral reefs east of Papua New Guinea,
And today we have scaring the proles.
This is the adjusted temperature data. And this
Is the residual anomaly, whose use you will see,
when you are given your graphs. And this is the raw temperature data,
Which in your case you have not got. The trees
stand unflinching, steadfast against all adversity,
Which in our case we have not got.
Now this is the graph, and you hold it like so,
And you cover this end with your thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone grinning. You can keep a straight face,
if you have enough faith in the Cause. The daisies
shadow the lawn with their leaves, never letting anyone see
Any one of them grinning.
And this you can see is our model result. The pupose of this
is to extend our reach. As you see, We can change these
parameters just as much as we please: we call this
building consensus. And rapidly backwards and forwards,
the advocates are alarming and corrupting MPs:
They call it building consensus.
They call it building consensus: it’s easy enough
if you can keep a straight face: like the trend,
and the scale, and the narrative, and the tipping point,
which in our case we have not got; and the skeptics
excluded from every arena, and the advocates going backwards and forwards,
For today we have scaring the proles.
(see http://www.solearabiantree.net/namingofparts/namingofparts.html for Henry Reed’s original)
The new climate meme
Is our weather extremes
They’re not sure of the motion
That sends heat ‘neath the ocean
But with unbending devotion
To a CO two potion
The media’s notion
Of facts is exceedingly lean
Now this may be due
To an oversight or two
But yet again
Who am I to complain
When it’s exceedingly plain
That they’ve nothing to gain
Since they are all playing
A counter-factual game
There’s no recompense
For exercising common sense
They place their reliance
On post-normal science
Yet in total defiance
Of statistics realistic
Alas, it would seem
They still cling to the meme
Freezing hot day dream
Polar bear party ice cream
Quick, I pee see sea.
Hot stuff rises up
According to physics book.
Not in the abyss?
Weather all normal
Doesn’t create enough spin.
Cook the books slowly.
Doom, gloom, drought, monsoon
Catastrophiliacs’ dream.
All normal on Earth.
John Gummer – Arts Grad,
The “Climate Change Champion”
Stop and look both ways!
Fact, fiction or fraud?
The jury deliberates
While polar bears play.
How about a song? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGuUffEXLo8&feature=player_embedded#t=0
Climarick? That’s a nice one!
My try:
There once was a Science so Settled
It could read every leaf in the kettle
But because of The Pause
(Not to mention The Cause)
One must say it’s no more in fine fettle.
If you can talk nonsense and believe what you preach,
Or walk with Nobel knowing this is not just,
If neither climate-gate nor the plateau can deter you,
If all men count except those who challenge you,
IF you can effect policy that the many will pay
With your own funding increasing day by day,
Yours is the Earth but don’t use whats in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Mann, my son!
Climate change puzzle
Alarmists struggle along
Using the wrong lid
Duelling banjos
Climateers fight over facts
Catchy melody.
AR5 – the sequel
Lets hope it is just a’hiatus’
we’re leaving a mimi ice age,
climate is always conatus
the doomsters we cannot assuage;
this rock could do with some warming
the trees and the plants would agree,
science models are not performing
watch out for their trick with the pea.
So what is the cause of the ‘pause’
did the oceans eat all ‘their’ heat,
all those who believe in the ’cause’
feed well on the sows ample teat;
this latest piece of science fiction
from the I Pee Pee I See,
carbon dioxide malediction
a boon to the Biased BBC.
A trace gas once more on trial
for the most heinious of crimes,
the jury in total ‘denial’
real facts cannot trump paridigms;
the verdict was as predicted
“Plants don’t need food to survive”,
the fools to grants are addicted
as shown in the new AR5.
The pleading rose
I am a vivid flowering rose
delighting eye and balm to nose,
i thrive on heat of morning dew
but most of all on Co2;
so please dont limit it the nigh
or else i will just wilt and die,
i grow in rain and sun from skies
and gas to photosynthesize.
i’m not a scientist like you
with mega grants and peer review,
please explain to a plant like me
the workings of I PCC;
can it be wise to stop the clock
then turn it back to an epoch,
when i was cold and half this size
true scientists helped me hybridize.
all those air-miles and pulp from trees
to promulgate your treatise,
designed to spread alarm and fear
of a trace gas which i hold dear;
your past deliberations show
if you were honest – ‘you dont know’
what future tempreatures will be
i hope it’s warmer – just for me!
patrick healy