Poetry please

A post last week at the blog of climate scientist Ellie Highwood revealed remarkable literary talent not just from Ellie herself but also from climate sceptic Mango Chutney. Perhaps there is a hitherto unexploited poetic propensity on both sides of the climate debate.

So please post your poems below, and don’t be put off if you’re unable to reach the quality level of Ellie and Mango.


16 thoughts on “Poetry please

  1. Here’s mine, in the form of a climarick:

    A team called the IPCC
    thought they knew how the climate would be.
    But all their predictions
    turned out to be fictions
    so who have they fooled? Not me!

  2. For me, this by ‘Sleepalot’ takes a lot of beating…


    Today we have scaring the proles. Yesterday,
    We had narrative writing. And tomorrow morning,
    we will be taxing them into the dirt. But today,
    Today we have scaring the proles. CO2 bubbles
    harmlessly through coral reefs east of Papua New Guinea,
    And today we have scaring the proles.

    This is the adjusted temperature data. And this
    Is the residual anomaly, whose use you will see,
    when you are given your graphs. And this is the raw temperature data,
    Which in your case you have not got. The trees
    stand unflinching, steadfast against all adversity,
    Which in our case we have not got.

    Now this is the graph, and you hold it like so,
    And you cover this end with your thumb. And please do not let me
    See anyone grinning. You can keep a straight face,
    if you have enough faith in the Cause. The daisies
    shadow the lawn with their leaves, never letting anyone see
    Any one of them grinning.

    And this you can see is our model result. The pupose of this
    is to extend our reach. As you see, We can change these
    parameters just as much as we please: we call this
    building consensus. And rapidly backwards and forwards,
    the advocates are alarming and corrupting MPs:
    They call it building consensus.

    They call it building consensus: it’s easy enough
    if you can keep a straight face: like the trend,
    and the scale, and the narrative, and the tipping point,
    which in our case we have not got; and the skeptics
    excluded from every arena, and the advocates going backwards and forwards,
    For today we have scaring the proles.

    (see http://www.solearabiantree.net/namingofparts/namingofparts.html for Henry Reed’s original)

  3. The new climate meme
    Is our weather extremes
    They’re not sure of the motion
    That sends heat ‘neath the ocean
    But with unbending devotion
    To a CO two potion
    The media’s notion
    Of facts is exceedingly lean

    Now this may be due
    To an oversight or two
    But yet again
    Who am I to complain
    When it’s exceedingly plain
    That they’ve nothing to gain
    Since they are all playing
    A counter-factual game

    There’s no recompense
    For exercising common sense
    They place their reliance
    On post-normal science
    Yet in total defiance
    Of statistics realistic
    Alas, it would seem
    They still cling to the meme

  4. Climarick? That’s a nice one!

    My try:

    There once was a Science so Settled
    It could read every leaf in the kettle
    But because of The Pause
    (Not to mention The Cause)
    One must say it’s no more in fine fettle.

  5. If you can talk nonsense and believe what you preach,
    Or walk with Nobel knowing this is not just,
    If neither climate-gate nor the plateau can deter you,
    If all men count except those who challenge you,
    IF you can effect policy that the many will pay
    With your own funding increasing day by day,
    Yours is the Earth but don’t use whats in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a Mann, my son!

  6. AR5 – the sequel

    Lets hope it is just a’hiatus’
    we’re leaving a mimi ice age,
    climate is always conatus
    the doomsters we cannot assuage;
    this rock could do with some warming
    the trees and the plants would agree,
    science models are not performing
    watch out for their trick with the pea.

    So what is the cause of the ‘pause’
    did the oceans eat all ‘their’ heat,
    all those who believe in the ’cause’
    feed well on the sows ample teat;
    this latest piece of science fiction
    from the I Pee Pee I See,
    carbon dioxide malediction
    a boon to the Biased BBC.

    A trace gas once more on trial
    for the most heinious of crimes,
    the jury in total ‘denial’
    real facts cannot trump paridigms;
    the verdict was as predicted
    “Plants don’t need food to survive”,
    the fools to grants are addicted
    as shown in the new AR5.

  7. The pleading rose

    I am a vivid flowering rose
    delighting eye and balm to nose,
    i thrive on heat of morning dew
    but most of all on Co2;
    so please dont limit it the nigh
    or else i will just wilt and die,
    i grow in rain and sun from skies
    and gas to photosynthesize.

    i’m not a scientist like you
    with mega grants and peer review,
    please explain to a plant like me
    the workings of I PCC;
    can it be wise to stop the clock
    then turn it back to an epoch,
    when i was cold and half this size
    true scientists helped me hybridize.

    all those air-miles and pulp from trees
    to promulgate your treatise,
    designed to spread alarm and fear
    of a trace gas which i hold dear;
    your past deliberations show
    if you were honest – ‘you dont know’
    what future tempreatures will be
    i hope it’s warmer – just for me!

    patrick healy

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